Black Baby White Hands: A View from the Crib PDF ô

Black Baby White Hands: A View from the Crib PDF ô Oh my God, I hated this book.First imagine a four year old telling you his every thought Then imagine the opposite of stoicism.Then imagine so many double binds and hypocrisies that you want to spit Imagine the tragic sensitive artist digging through issues of race This book was self published, which apparently means that he couldn t be troubled by an editor.Save yourself some pain Read Sherman Alexie or the Convergence of Race, Ethnicity, and Gender Multiple Identities in Counseling. This book written by Jaiya shares his experience as a black baby adopted by a white family in the late 1960 s This was very thoughtfully written about his experience, recognizing the challenges that various family members may have and how it impacted him whether they were conscious of the challenges or not Throughout this book, Jaiya made it very clear that he valued them all but had to find himself in order to appreciate them evenIt gave me a greater understanding of who he was and t This book written by Jaiya shares his experience as a black baby adopted by a white family in the late 1960 s This was very thoughtfully written about his experience, recognizing the challenges that various family members may have and how it impacted him whether they were conscious of the challenges or not Throughout this book, Jaiya made it very clear that he valued them all but had to find himself in order to appreciate them evenIt gave me a greater understanding of who he was and the need for relationships from us all That it s not just about race, nor is it about minimizing race but embracing the humanity in us all which INCLUDES our differences race, gender, abilities, etc As a white adoptive mom to 2 beautiful brown babies I am so thankful Jaiya John shared his life with us It isn t easy to read that sometimes love isn t enough but it s important to know the kind of thoughts and feelings my kids might have that they don t want to share or can t share. I have read this book cover to cover several times I continue to pick it up and take each bite and find myself fed and feeling full As an adoptee, I was blown away at how much of this story held my own face and truth He gets it His journey illuminates and brings forth thousands of stories and truths that have yet to make their own way into memoir s and story telling This book paves that way, for sure As a student, I was mesmerized This book touches on and really digs into all of the sub I have read this book cover to cover several times I continue to pick it up and take each bite and find myself fed and feeling full As an adoptee, I was blown away at how much of this story held my own face and truth He gets it His journey illuminates and brings forth thousands of stories and truths that have yet to make their own way into memoir s and story telling This book paves that way, for sure As a student, I was mesmerized This book touches on and really digs into all of the subjects and issues that are impacting me and my world presently and helps me to find a way to see these complex topics in a new light It is amazing given the time in which this book was conceived and how it is still so relevant to the world we live in now Astounding Jaiya John is a griot A Healer A vessel Hollowed and purified for the telling and the stirring Deeply grateful for this memoir and for Jaiya Incomplete review I need a way to start a draft and then come back to it without saving it and others seeing it before it s done lol While this book was not easy for me to read, it was excellent and I think anyone who loves a good book would appreciate this memoir of a Black man s experience growing up in a White family, even if said reader is not a White parent to Black children as I am.The author is very introspective and philosophical which I mostly appreciate, although sometimes I g Incomplete review I need a way to start a draft and then come back to it without saving it and others seeing it before it s done lol While this book was not easy for me to read, it was excellent and I think anyone who loves a good book would appreciate this memoir of a Black man s experience growing up in a White family, even if said reader is not a White parent to Black children as I am.The author is very introspective and philosophical which I mostly appreciate, although sometimes I get a little weary of the navel gazing and his prose is poetic without being annoying I learned so much about racial identity and adoption identity by reading this book, and know I ll need to refer back to it repeatedly as I raise these children I ve been blessed with.It was hard for me to read because he struggled so much and I hate the thought of my children having similar struggles I do think a lot of his struggle came from his inherent personality I contained a genetic and spiritual predisposition to feel my emotions very deeply Those emotions would last for hours and days This shaped my moods, sensitivities, and responses to life I thrived on quiet and calm, and on large doses of reassurance and reflection Our house was usually filled with noise, chaos, tough skinned emotional flow, and little pause or allowance for pensive silence The contrast affected my attachment in ways that would persist 37.It was hard for me to read because, like his parents, there are so many things I didn t think about before adopting Black children Theirs was an innocent simplicity They wantedchildren, the consequences of that possibility were not a thing they were designed to dwell upon or hold up life for 297 I didn t find my reflection anywhere I looked 39 hurt my heart as I have been trying to adjust our life so that my children have mirrors of Black skinned faces around them on a frequent basis The lack of secure and meaningful attachments to other African American people was a vacuum that bore a hole in the bottom of my self esteem reserve 50 I cringed as he and his brother tried to figure out how to be acceptably Black people in the midst of Whiteness He went hip, hard, and happy I went bent, burrowed, and benign We both lost ourselves along the way.Increasingly I smiled as a way of comforting others, letting them know I was friendly and not to be feared 105.As he described his developing radar for people s biases, I felt a nearly physical ache Some people, even extended family members, accepted him in spite of his Blackness because he was different from those other Blacks My great grandfather saw no contradiction between his attitudes toward Blacks as a group and his feeling for Greg and me This was a perceptual dichotomy that would prove one of my central sources of wounding.This was simply the shaded love of people who spent their lives distant from people who looked like me Children can discern the subtle difference between embrace, ambivalence, tolerance, and disdain Incongruent emotion was a great bane to me in most of my relationships A person caring for me but feeling less than positive about a group of people that I held myself a part of never was good enough for me 77 He wanted to be loved and accepted for who he was as a Black boy More than unconditional love, or bountiful love, it was clean love that made the world of difference for me The vibes weren t polluted with a discomfort with my race, an avoidance of the idea of my race, or a strained tolerance or forgiveness for my race Crisp and clean, that s how I needed it 53 Now, I knew that I had not been crying out for my Blackness to be ignored I just wished that it not be treated as such an alien, foreboding stain on my skin that it should not be mentioned I had stood in the intense glare of spotlight not because I was different, but because of how people reacted to my particular difference 288 I treated all my kids the same When I heard those words a dawning light splashed all around in my mind.This was the explanation, finally, that allowed me to begin to understand why my parents had so overwhelmingly not addressed in tangible, audible ways the undeniable fact that Greg and I were Black, and that we were adopted Mom was saying that she had done her best to show that her love for us was equal to that of all her children And she had done it by relating to us as if the facts of our adoption and race didn t exist She had whitened them out 296 other topics colorblindness, changing perceptions from cute little to scary Black man, Christ is for White people, seeing the world the same way and not being challenged, what parents could have done, self absorption My notes save for J July ,It is only three months following the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr and the nation is burning Black and White America are locked in the tense grip of massive change Into this inferno steps an unsuspecting young White couple Neither had truly known even a single African American person while growing up Now, a child will change all of that forever In this fateful moment, a Black baby becomes perhaps the first in the history of New Mexico to be adopted by a White family Here is a brazenly honest glimpse into the mind and heart of that child, a true story for the ages that flows like a soulful river separated from his mother at birth, placed into foster care, adopted, and finally reunited with his biological family in adulthood an astounding journey of personal discovery Jaiya John has opened the floodgates on his own childhood with this piercing memoir Black Baby White Hands, a waterfall of jazz splashing over the rocks of love, pain and the honoring of family Magically, this book finds a way to sing as it cries, and to exude compassion even as it dispels well entrenched myths Destined to become a classic, this stirring account is sure to find itself well worn, stained by tears, and brushed by laughter in the lap of parents, adolescents, educators, students, and professionals Here comes the rain and the sunshine, all at once Happy I read it, but it wasn t easy His writing is REALLY indulgent and it is 350 pages of him repeating that he didn t feel he belonged Not that I want to diminish that feeling, but it could have used some editing He writes without much structure, floating from his emotional turmoil to his spiritual life, without grounding these in a certain time or circumstance The book does have powerful moments, usually when he actually tells his story in linear time and specific stories I was definitel Happy I read it, but it wasn t easy His writing is REALLY indulgent and it is 350 pages of him repeating that he didn t feel he belonged Not that I want to diminish that feeling, but it could have used some editing He writes without much structure, floating from his emotional turmoil to his spiritual life, without grounding these in a certain time or circumstance The book does have powerful moments, usually when he actually tells his story in linear time and specific stories I was definitely brought close to tears on several occasions, especially when he explains the disconnect between himself and his parents when he confronts them as a young adult about his feelings and their inability to speak to racial difference Many people have said in their reviews that this book is great for people adopting transracially I think some people are missing the point it s not about the white parents While they and siblings like me , can certainly benefit from it, I think this book can be a resource to the transracially adopted people who are struggling through similar experiences and are feeling the same isolation.That being said I sure hope that people who have adopted transracially read books from this perspective for a little extra insight into their grown children s minds I find this book to be self indulgent, andthan a little repetitive Jaiya John says the same thing in every chapter He had a good life, with good parents, but felt disconnected from his family and friends because his race wasn t something he could talk about This book would have been an excellent memoir, and an important piece of literature for those adopting black children, if it had been better edited.The poetry in this book is beautiful, and it may be worth reading just for that Jaiy I find this book to be self indulgent, andthan a little repetitive Jaiya John says the same thing in every chapter He had a good life, with good parents, but felt disconnected from his family and friends because his race wasn t something he could talk about This book would have been an excellent memoir, and an important piece of literature for those adopting black children, if it had been better edited.The poetry in this book is beautiful, and it may be worth reading just for that Jaiya John overdoes the prose, however, continually using several adjectives, adverbs, metaphors, and similes to describe each detail of his life A person cannot just say something, he or she tenderly tells or let words pass through their lips The same points are hammered page after page Somehow, the childhood he conveys is one in which he suffered pain, shame, embarrassment, and low self esteem He writes that his brother Greg also black must have had the same thoughts too, but Jaiya John apparently either didn t ask him or Greg didn t want his opinions in the book Jaiya John often speaks for other people, and we re left with an incomplete picture of his life.This book is not the best one about transracial adoption Other than this man s self pity, there are maybe a dozen salient points put forth The rest is redundant and overdone As the mom half of a white couple currently in the process of adopting a black child, I ve been trying to get my hands on any and all perspectives that might help in raising our daughter with a healthy approach to her own racial identity This book had a few insightful takeaways, but the writing style itself was so incredibly self indulgent that they were sometimes hard to catch.The most helpful thing I learned from this book was that saying to someone of another race, Oh, the color of your s As the mom half of a white couple currently in the process of adopting a black child, I ve been trying to get my hands on any and all perspectives that might help in raising our daughter with a healthy approach to her own racial identity This book had a few insightful takeaways, but the writing style itself was so incredibly self indulgent that they were sometimes hard to catch.The most helpful thing I learned from this book was that saying to someone of another race, Oh, the color of your skin doesn t matter it s just what makes you unique, just as if you were 7 feet tall in a family of short people or a redhead in a family of blondes, is completely insulting, largely because our country doesn t have a 300 year history of oppression and enslavement of tall people or redheads though some might suggest we should haveha ha That helped open my eyes to some of the well intentioned things I or others might say to her that would prove to be offensive I would love for my daughter s skin color not to matter, but it s not fair to pretend that it doesn t, especially here in the deep south.So, enjoy the insights, but believe me when I say you won t miss much if you skim the poetry storytelling over the top descriptions of landscapes and such

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